These youth, living many miles from their parents in the agricultural villages, meet informally, develop a rudimentary "dating" system, and eventually fall in love and marry, with or without parental consent, and sometimes avoiding the traditional customs of bride price, betrothal rituals, and family-oriented wedding celebrations in the villages.
As a result, major tensions and disaffection develop sometimes between traditional parents and their modernized offspring.
Tobit of the Apocrypha still serves the Amish as a model of betrothal and marriage.
The rules of the Frisian Mennonites prescribed that young men and women should not associate too freely.
Then on his arrival at the home, the details of the Biblical story were followed punctiliously even to offering a drink, presenting gifts, and so on.
This procedure with minor variations was still the rule among the Old Order Amish in America until the 1950s.
Under the aegis of Western missions, Western ideas of mate selection by the marrying individuals, preferably with parental approval and sponsorship, have come to prevail among the more educated members of new churches in India and Africa, among Mennonites as well as others.
This view prevailed in many circles till late in the 19th century.In traditional rural societies in India and Africa, mate selection has been almost totally negotiated and controlled by the parents of the marrying couple, and "courtship" did not really exist.The impact of Christianity has been to shift some of the parental control over mate selection to the church and to the young couple themselves.With the exception of several conservative groups, in the 1990s courtship customs among Mennonites reflect the prevailing customs in the national societies of which they are a part.This appears to be true in Asia, Africa, and Latin America, as well as in Europe and North America.After they had consented the young man would come to the home of the girl and the engagement took place.